Shadows and Light

The Fox that bites its tail

In the forest, there lived one curious creature. It was a Fox, floating above the ground, biting its own tail, continuously moving in a circle. Her head would reach for the Stars, but then rushed down again to the ground. Round and round she went, never going anywhere, but always moving – in the same circle.

A Bunny was watching the Fox. He thought – Why does she do this? Why doesn’t she let go of the tail, the moment she sees the Stars? Why doesn’t she jump out of that loop, and end the suffering? Why can’t she just let go of the tail, and just have fun? Doesn’t that bite hurt her tail?

A Hedgehog was watching the fox as well. She thought – Why does she do this? Why doesn’t she come back to Earth? Why doesn’t she let go of her tail the moment she sees the wet soil? Why doesn’t she jump down, and make a home for herself, like me?

The Bunny and the Hedgehog had their ways, and couldn’t understand that different choices could be made. But there was a tender Sparrow that loved the world in all its glory, and he loved this Fox.

He could spend hours and hours flying above her, flying below her, flying by her side, while she twirls and twirls and twirls… He just couldn’t get enough. To him, the Fox had a magic that he could not understand, nor could he resist. He was so intoxicated that he almost got caught up in the endless loop of his beloved friend.

The animals ridiculed the little Sparrow. From their point of view, he was a silly bird staring at an apparition, a ghost, a possessed creature, a soul driven to insanity by some strange forces. They saw the Fox always turning, and the Sparrow standing still, clapping his wings so he can stay up in the air, right next to the love of his life.

A lot of time has passed, but the Sparrow didn’t doubt, not for a moment, nor did he ever lose the feeling of tenderness and care for, what seemed, a Fox driven to madness.

And then, one day, it happened.


A voice appeared.


A tender, heavenly voice. The Sparrow, for the first time, in a long time, turned away from his friend.

And there she was again. In spirit. White, blissful, graceful, dignified. Sitting down, in peace.

The Sparrow was shocked – My darling Fox! How are you here? Aren’t you there? And why? Why the constant twirling, why don’t you wake up? Why, why, why? Wake up, please! Fly with me!

The Fox waited a few breaths, and then explained:

I don’t belong to this world completely. I have a home among the Stars, and although I know I won’t reach them in this lifetime, from time to time, I need to go back. I need to make the connection, I need to open up a portal for myself so I can always feel a little bit of home in this strange place.

But why, why the constant twirling? Why can’t you come down to Earth? – rather desperately asked the Sparrow.

I twirl to open up a portal to the heavenly Stars.

I bite my tail, because I need to see if there is pain in my heart. If there is pain, I look to the Stars and shed a tear, then turn to the Ground and give a smile. If the pain is gone, the portal will open, and I will be able to be here and there, my heart will be complete.

So I bite my tail again, to see if the pain is gone. If there is still some left, I repeat. I look to the Stars and shed a tear, then turn to the Ground and give a Smile.

I repeat and repeat and repeat, until all the pain goes away.

You see, I know how it seems. That I am uselessly repeating the same experience, over and over again. That I am stubbornly inflicting the same pain onto myself, and that nothing ever changes.

But that can’t be further from the truth. Each turn I take, I gift the Stars with a tear, I gift the Ground with a smile.

I give the Stars a story of this strange place so they can understand, I give the Ground comfort and let her know – no matter how things seem, everything will be okay. Believe me.

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