Go back within

I always imagined my insides as a vast bright crystal cave, a serene place blessed with shimmer and purity of white quartz.

I could imagine myself walking through, being inside of something immense, devoid of action, and powerfuly loaded with peace.

So I became obssesed with that palpable quietude, and turned outward to put the world into the same order.

Into stillness, sacredness.

Tranquility, purity.

I put all my efforts into rearranging the outside so it could match the heaven that I found within, in my own heart, in my own solitude.

But that didn’t work.

My hands were not powerful enough, my heart not so strong, nor forgiving.

The world had a life of its own, and I had a hard time accepting all the variety and versatility.

It became all so tiresome, you know?

The currents, the waves.

The variation, the deviation.

I had to go back within.