I was in the background, torn from the world I was trying to escape.
The rebel within me got caught up in self-serving outrage, so, I rushed to grab the door handle of the universe I refused to be a part of.
It was a stand off.
My ego, telling me I am not wanted, my heart, telling me it is I who does not want.
The door is jammed.
My ego is stronger, it doesn’t want to yield. It keeps pulling and pulling, and there’s this flash of light coming through the crack.
And light was what I was looking for.
Light, warmth, a small part of sunshine.
Well, the light that was coming through was a distraction, not a true calling.
Disappointed I was, to put all that effort in vain.
All that wasted time, all that attention, all that maddening fixation.
I seemed, I felt as a failure.
Like a failed attempt at becoming something great.
Spirit of Tara 