I start to fall into myself, into chaos that I left when I entered the cave the first time.
It’s all still there – the madness, the reason, attachment, feelings… It’s all there, but now it’s inside of me and I have another blessed attempt at control.
I take the reins and try to navigate my chariot – waves extremely dark are as tempting as waves extremely light – I struggle to stay on course.
I am tempted to sail right into storms, to throw myself at the angriest of waves and fight them until my last breath.
Once again, I am losing control.
Spirit of Tara 