Scorpio to Cancer – You are rotting away in the familiar

You have given me a home, a sense of belonging.

But let me choose now.

From the waves of history, let me choose what I want to take with me.

Some of your hate will die with me. Some of your hate will die through me. Some of your hate I don’t want to take part in.

Let me take only my hate with me, I want to be responsible for my own wrong-doings. I want to be the creator of my own destiny, I will take responsibility. Let me leave your resentments behind, and take only what’s mine.

But for that, I need to be living on my own. Free from you, free from my family and my family’s feuds.

Set me free, let me go, let me live on my own. Let me die in the eyes of those who think I belong. Let me leave you, let me dare to doubt your reasons for living, and your justification of death. And let me test you.

Let me test you to see have you ever loved.

Have you ever loved anybody, have you ever really loved me, or have you just been hiding behind the feeling of belonging, have you claimed me as your possession, your property? Are you smothering me?

Are you hiding inside yourself, thinking you must always be right, and everyone else must be wrong?

Maybe my hate came from you not taking responsibility, and always throwing blame on others. Maybe your hate came from not having the ability to truly love.

What is mine, and what is yours? I want to know. Do you expect me never to doubt your decisions, your story? Do you expect me to resurrect the hate that came from your weakness, from you refusing to grow up? The hate you chose because you were intimidated of living on your own terms? Because you were too afraid to stand up and be who you are? Because you were too afraid to be different from your tribe?

How did you expect your dreams to come true, if you never dared to be you?

Keep clinging on to your family, keep belonging. Stay inside. Keep rotting away in the familiar. But don’t tell me I am the one who is destroying himself, when you are rotting away and I am on my way to resurrect.

Keep remembering, I am on the way to forget.